Heyys.
People will judge. I know cos I judge myself and others too. I don’t get why I’m always thinking so lowly of myself. Bad past, bad 2011. Moving on too fast, you’ll have a lot of talkings behind your back. Holding back to the past, it’s pointless cos it’s going to hurt you even more in the future. However, I can’t let my bad past ruin my bright future (I hope I’ll have one).
Some people break, ruin, make you upset, cry and ditch you while other is willing to make you happy, surprise you, telling you how good you are, be there for you and take care of you. Many a times, we let the former experience bring us down so much so that we are afraid of the latter. This way, it isn’t fair for the latter person for it wasn’t his/her fault for what had happened to you. Instead, he/she is there to bring you up, to make you feel better and let you know that you deserve better.
Let go.
Truth hurts but it’s reality. I told you what I truly felt. I don’t wish to go through whatever shit I’ve been through with you last year. As much as you’re willing to change, you’ll still have that part, that nasty part of you that will emerge somewhere, somehow down the road. And, I really dislike that part of you. It hurts so much when I think back about those good and bad times together. Of the 3 overseas trips we went (Perth, Tioman & California), I cried numerous times on 2 of the trips. We are always quarrelling over trivial matters and it just snowballed.
I saved us twice and I granted you the wish to let go of us on your third attempt. This time round I’m sorry, I dont wish to give you another chance. I don’t deserve you and neither do you. We definitely deserve someone else who can tolerate us, who can compromise with our flaws.
xx
